I am currently in a relationship with someone who calls themselves a Masochist. We shall call him Jay. Alright...well...we have only been seeing each other for about a month, so I am not completely in tune with his behaviors or his history and many things I am afraid or shy to ask about.
He enjoys pain. A few of the friends he has had for a long time insist that he get help. I'm not sure if it's a "you're a freak, you need a shrink" or a "We love you and worry about you and you need help" sort of thing. He used to cut and burn himself but says he has not done it in a long time. I also used to cut and burn, but in my case cutting was a reflection of psychological problems and depression and I didn't go to a very extreme extent. He tells me that he is happy and that inflicting pain on himself or by someone else is strictly pleasurable and is not a reflection of emotional pain.
However, I can see the pain behind his smile at times and when he's drunk or half sleeping, he will become extremely emotional and will cry on me and all I can do is hold him and comfort him.
The next section is under a cut because it is contains sexual content:
During sex, he enjoys it when I bite and scratch him and has even told me that he'd like it if I punched him in the face while we're having sex. I am okay with biting and scratching, as I enjoy this too. I feel like it releases adrenaline or endorphins or something. I am afraid of hurting him too much and that I am encouraging his pain inflicting behaviors. Honestly, I don't think he could get off if I didn't bite him or something. I care very much for Jay. I am falling very hard, very quickly....and it's very very scary. I want what is best for him, but I also want to be open minded and supportive. I don't want to encourage behavior. I feel like if I really cared about him, I wouldn't help him inflict pain to himself...but I don't want to deprive him of something pleasurable if it is really not harmful, just different and misunderstood.
Please Please Please Please help.