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Survivors of the worst hands in life. . .
i_m_a_survivor
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Welcome to the Survivors of Life community! Please be respectful of all, and be honest. I am not a counselour, but I do try to help where I can! Enjoy!

January 2013
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krymsonsky [userpic]
Masochism (May contain triggering content)

I am currently in a relationship with someone who calls themselves a Masochist. We shall call him Jay. Alright...well...we have only been seeing each other for about a month, so I am not completely in tune with his behaviors or his history and many things I am afraid or shy to ask about.

He enjoys pain. A few of the friends he has had for a long time insist that he get help. I'm not sure if it's a "you're a freak, you need a shrink" or a "We love you and worry about you and you need help" sort of thing. He used to cut and burn himself but says he has not done it in a long time. I also used to cut and burn, but in my case cutting was a reflection of psychological problems and depression and I didn't go to a very extreme extent. He tells me that he is happy and that inflicting pain on himself or by someone else is strictly pleasurable and is not a reflection of emotional pain.

However, I can see the pain behind his smile at times and when he's drunk or half sleeping, he will become extremely emotional and will cry on me and all I can do is hold him and comfort him.

The next section is under a cut because it is contains sexual content:

During sex, he enjoys it when I bite and scratch him and has even told me that he'd like it if I punched him in the face while we're having sex. I am okay with biting and scratching, as I enjoy this too. I feel like it releases adrenaline or endorphins or something.  I am afraid of hurting him too much and that I am encouraging his pain inflicting behaviors.  Honestly, I don't think he could get off if I didn't bite him or something.   I care very much for Jay.  I am falling very hard, very quickly....and it's very very scary.  I want what is best for him, but I also want to be open minded and supportive.  I don't want to encourage behavior.  I feel like if I really cared about him, I wouldn't help him inflict pain to himself...but I don't want to deprive him of something pleasurable if it is really not harmful, just different and misunderstood.

Please Please Please Please help.

Comments

Thank you. I just want to be open and understanding to it, but I don't want to encourage any behavior that promotes some kind of psychological destruction. He says it has nothing to do with depression or whatever, but I believe he's not completely psychologically sound...I just get scared.